


My Travels

by LexHudson



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games)
Genre: Eventual Smut, F/F, F/M, Fighting
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-10-04
Updated: 2015-10-14
Packaged: 2018-04-24 19:26:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 13
Words: 19,763
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4932358
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LexHudson/pseuds/LexHudson
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When innocent Sister Leliana joins the Warden on her quest to stop the Archdemon, she doesn't realize what she has gotten herself into. Her past comes back to haunt her, the present will damage her and make her rethink her choices.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Lothering

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is going to be completely from Leliana's POV in Origins. It won't completely follow the story or dialogue in the game, but some of the same things will occur. This is also going to be a Morrigan/Leliana centered fic. Will be T now, but may morph into M, when battles come in and you know smut

“You’re that blasted Grey Warden that Loghain is looking for!”

“You mean the traitor that killed all of the Grey Wardens?”

“Kill her!”

The tavern were I was sat in was peaceful up until this moment. The small town of Lothering was buzzing with the famed Grey Warden that escaped the clutches of the Darkspawn and the Archdemon, however I didn’t believe the rumours until she was standing right in front of me. Two companions flanked her, but it was clear that she was the leader of the entourage. One an obvious Grey Warden as his armour was the same as the leading woman; his dirty blonde hair matched his radiant blue eyes as his hand tightened around the blade that was sheathed at his waist. The other companion was a woman, who was slightly smaller than the leader. Her jet-black hair was tied in a messy bun on the top of her head, while she wore the most revealing clothes and not one inch of armour. She has piercing yellow eyes that skirted around the tavern, as she death gripped her staff. An odd entourage for sure but I was entirely sure that this was the same scene that I had seen in my dreams weeks before.

The men opposite of the pack began to draw their swords, begging for an attack or an excuse to kill this infamous Warden. As one drew their sword, I decided to lunge towards him, pulling a knife that I had hid in my Chantry robes before this skirmish began.

“Whatever you are thinking of doing,” I snarled, surprised by the venom in my voice, “rethink it and leave.”

“Thank you, Sister, but I can take it from here,” the lead woman said. Her features suggested that she was of noble birth, but the brown eyes were soft when they looked at me. She drew her bow and readied an arrow, aiming it directly in front of the intruder’s face. “You will give Loghain a message from me.”

“I would rather die,” the man spat at the feet of the Warden and I pushed my blade closer to his throat, drawing a bit of blood from it. He groaned a bit but then nodded towards the Warden.

“Very good.” She began. “You will tell him that he will pay for the crimes he committed at Ostagar, and that I am coming for him.” As he nodded at the message given to him, the Warden lowered her bow as I lowered my blade. The man took of running out of the tavern as the Warden turned to look at me. “And what is a Chantry sister doing wielding a blade like that, miss?”

“Leliana,” I spoke, noticing that the woman with the yellow eyes was glaring at me. “I am sorry I don’t mean to intrude but I must speak with you.” The Warden in front of me waited for me to continue while the other two skirted off to sit down. The male Warden ordered a drink while the woman with the staff sat in the corner, glaring at everything that moved. “I must join you.” I stated firmly.

“Thank you, sister, but we don’t need a travelling Chantry cloister following us.” She stated softly as if trying not to offend me.

“You are fighting the Darkspawn, yes? You must allow me to join you.”

“Ok, Leliana,” She began, “What skills do you possess?”

“I am a bard of many talents.”

“Like a travelling minstrel?”

“In a sort yes, but I possess the skills of assassination and archery to name a few.”

“Is she mad?” The male Warden finally spoke, obviously listening to the conversation we were engaged in. He moved closer, eyeing me incredulously. “She’s a Chantry sister! She’s never held a weapon!”

“Alistair,” The Warden began, “let her speak.” With that, the Warden shut his mouth but did not stop glaring at me.

“Please, Warden,” I said, “I will not let you down.” The woman debated my words, and I sat there waiting for her to say no, to shut me out and not even try to prove myself to her.

“Please tell me you have some kind of armour,” She said smiling, holding out her hand for me to shake. This caused the Warden named Alistair to scoff while the other woman in the back glared at me even more.

“Thank you, Warden.”

“Please, just call me Cousland. The one behind me is Alistair and the witch in the back is Morrigan. We are glad for you to join us, Leliana.”

“Very nice to meet you all. Oh and I do have some armour, its in the Chantry across the way.” Cousland turned and lead everyone out of the tavern, Alistair following closely behind her, while Morrigan put some distance between herself and the group. As we exited the tavern, a huge Marabi war hound jumped at Cousland.

“Oh, Leliana, this is Dog.”

“You have a dog named Dog?”

“It fit his personality.” She said as she chuckled at how ridiculous it sounded. I reached down to pet the dog, delighted that he rolled over and allowed me to scratch his belly. I quickly made my way to the Chantry to retrieve my things, and to discard my Chantry robes for the leather armour I wore when I stumbled into this little town. When I emerged with my armour on, I noticed that the witch was staring at me again, though this time there was no malice in her yellow eyes. Instead, I saw a look of confusion that is until she scoffed at me and turned to walk away. I walked up to Alistair as he was buying some supplies from a merchant.

“What’s her problem?” I asked, directing my question at Morrigan, hoping she would hear.

“That, my dear sister, is the Witch of the Wilds.” Alistair replied, his voice much lighter and relaxed than before.

“The what?”

“Oh you know, the Witch of the Wilds. The strongest apostate to ever roam the land.” He pointedly looked at Morrigan who turned her nose up at him and walked away from us.

“She doesn’t seem pleasant.”

“She’s not.” He deadpanned.

“How did she get mixed up with you and Cousland?” I couldn’t help but to pry. Being a bard meant gathering as much information as possible, although I didn’t want my new comrades to know this.

“Long story short, she rescued us and healed Cousland from her wounds.” That surprised me, for the witch didn’t look like somebody who would ever raise a helping hand to anybody let alone a Grey Warden. Maybe I should try and talk to her, I thought to myself as I mulled over trying to get to know the people that I will be travelling with. Sighing, I made my way over to the apostate who had her back to me. I noticed that the red shawl that was draped around her neck was indeed attempting to cover up the black bra she was wearing. A leather pauldron covered her right shoulder as she donned black fingerless gloves on each hand. She was wearing some sort of leather skirt, with black tights that ended with knee high boots. I didn’t understand why I took so much time staring at her or her outfit but I missed when she turned around and caught me staring at her.

“And what do you think you are looking at, bard?” She spat at me, her voice full of venom.

“I-I just wanted to say hello,” I stammered out. She had a murderous glare in her yellow eyes, and it made me shrink inside myself.

“Leave my presence now.” I noticed that her hand twitched a bit, and I was completely terrified that she would set me ablaze but instead of moving like she commanded, I was stood stuck in place.

“Play nice, Morrigan,” Alistair called out from behind us, making Morrigan redirect her gaze from me to him.

“Do not toy with me, boy. I would not think twice into turning you into a toad.”

“You wouldn’t!” Alistair screamed, fear filling his voice. Morrigan turned once again towards me then walked away. She is going to be a handful, I thought to myself as I caught myself staring at her as she left. Oh Maker, what have I gotten myself into?


	2. First night at camp

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leliana's first night with her new companions, how will they get along?

Every since that cruel encounter with the witch earlier, I decided to keep my distance from her. We were barely out of Lothering before she began consistently bickering with the Grey Warden, Alistair.

“Alistair have you always been this incompetent?”

“My mother wasn’t the one who pushed me out of my own home.”

“She didn’t push me, boy. I chose to accompany you.”

“Funny that, I don’t remember you having a choice.”

“’Twas that meant to offend me? You think you have a choice? You follow her around with sad eyes.”

“Shut your mouth, Morrigan. You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“I do have eyes, boy. It seems yours are always on her.” Alistair surprisingly didn’t reply to Morrigan, but the frown that formed in his features, said more about what he was feeling than his words did. Morrigan walked right past him, up to me.

“That wasn’t very nice.” I stammered out. Something about this witch made my words harder to form and even harder to say. Her piercing yellow eyes landed on mine.

“I am not here to be nice, bard,” she spat the word at me, “I am here to fight the Darkspawn and the Archdemon to end the Blight.” I was at a loss for words at this point, so she stalked off leaving the group on her heels as she made her way to the camp that the entourage had set up in.

“So, Leliana,” Cousland began as she slowed her pace to keep up with mine. The Warden was significantly taller that myself, for she had to bow her head a bit to talk to me. “What is a woman like you doing in the Chantry?” She asked very innocently as she set her pack down on a log next to a tent.

“A woman like me?” I scoffed, attempting to deflect the question all together. I was never the type of person to talk about my past, or really anything, nobody really asked me or even cared. It was a bit of a surprise when this woman, whom I’ve just met, decided to ask me.

“Are you deaf, bard?” Morrigan quipped from in front of me. I didn’t notice her presence, let alone her be right in front of me. After taking off, I just assumed that she slept in the woods, not within the encampment. I sighed internally; this witch was going to give me serious trouble.

“Morrigan,” Cousland began, giving her a stern look. “Don’t be rude to our new companion.”

“I didn’t realize that we must pick up every stragglers we met in the lowlife villages we decide to enter.” She turned on her heels and headed towards a tent at the outskirts of the camp.

“Don’t mind her, but please continue.” Cousland urged as I began to nervously play with the buckles on my leather armour, trying to bite back the pain at the witch's words. I would never admit it, but her words always cut right through me.

“I wasn’t always in the Chantry. As I told you before, I was a bard, a travelling minstrel of sorts. I would play my lute for people and they would pay me coin.” I stated so simply, as if I wasn’t going over every word I said to the Warden.

“And the Chantry?” She was a persistent one, I gathered. However, her eyes held a sort of innocence behind them, they were very warm and loving. This was something I had not seen in somebody for far too many years. Maybe one day I would be strong enough to trust her, to tell her my secrets. But for now, that day is a long way’s away.

“I believed the Maker needed me more,” I simply said. I did not allow my thought to travel to Orlais or to all the bloodshed I had caused. Keeping my face as passive as possible, I decided to make camp, attempting to hide my true emotions.

As I was setting up my tent, I noticed that two tents were set up extremely close together, assuming them to be Alistair’s and Cousland’s, while the third one, Morrigan’s, was purposefully far from the two other companions. I hope the witch didn’t think herself too good to be in the company of these heroic Wardens. For they have a huge struggle upon them, and the fact that they are doing it alone, shows their courage.  
As I moved around the camp, I decided that I should first observe my companions. I watched as Cousland sat next to Alistair, faintly leaning into him, while he struggled to get a fire going. He attempted to cook for Cousland, but always seemed to be too distracted by her smile making him burn their meal. There was a considerable amount of tension between the two, but I chose not to say anything for it was not my place. Dog, on the other hand, was sat protectively next to Cousland while her hand rested on top of his head, gently scratching behind his ears every now and again. It was easy to tell that the marabi had imprinted on the Warden. The last member of our entourage, Morrigan, had made her own fire by her tent. She was sat on a log, pulling out a leather bound book along with some parchment. As I watched her, she would read a few passages, and then ponder what she read, her forehead scrunching at every thought racing through her mind. After awhile, she would write down her thoughts on the parchment.

I wasn’t quite sure what to do with myself so I decided to make camp a few feet away from my companions. I was so eager for the adventure that I had nearly forgotten what it was like to be in the presence of warriors such as themselves. The last time I travelled in a group, it didn’t end well for any of us involved. I sighed thinking about the past; trying to keep the wall I built tightly around my emotions. Deciding to busy myself, I pulled out my bow and began to clean and tune it. It had been a good few years since I had used it, and I was considerably worried that I would embarrass myself in front of my new comrades. I thought of all the comments the witch would make, that I didn’t even hear when Cousland walked up to me.

“So we usually take turns with the nightly watches, if you’re alright with that.” She sounded almost shy talking to me, causing me to smile wide at her.

“Of course.”

“Wonderful! Right, so you’re with Morrigan…”

“You cannot be serious!” I heard from across the camp. Morrigan looked up from book to glare at us, never missing a beat.

“If I leave you with Alistair, you will probably set him ablaze.”

“’Tis a bad thing?!” Morrigan dropped her head when Cousland glared at her, knowing that she had been defeated by the unceremonious leader and sighed so heavily that her shoulders shook. “Fine, but you shan’t bother me, bard.” With that she got up and made her way to the center of the camp and sat down on the log next to the fire. Cousland walked back towards Alistair and whispered something in his ear, causing the male Warden to giggle softly. I would have to find out what she said later, but for now I was transfixed on the witch. I watched the flames dance off her skin, causing the once paleness to turn to an almost amber colour. Morrigan hung her head as she continued to read, ignoring my very existence. Taking advantage of the opportunity, I decided to sit down next to her and continue to clean my bow. I would cast side-glances at her when I thought she wasn’t looking. I did not understand how someone so beautiful could be so bitter. Beauty. This word repeated itself incessantly in my head as I stared at the witch. My eyes lingered on every curve and aspect of her body, but when my eyes travelled back up to her face, yellow eyes were on me.

“What in the gods are you doing?” She sounded offended as if I slapped her. I shrunk back inside myself, trying desperately to come up with some kind of excuse as to why I was staring at her.

“What are you reading?” I tried to deflect my reasoning, wanting to put the attention onto her.

“You were staring at me like I was a piece of meat, bard. Explain yourself. Now.” She bared her teeth at me trying to scare me; instead I took a steady breath and squared my shoulders.

“You are very beautiful, Morrigan.” I felt my cheeks heat up but stood my ground. I wouldn’t let her bully me around during this adventure.

“Yes, I know,” she said then dropped her head back to her book, smirking sinisterly. “A Chantry cloister sister being so open with her sexuality. My, you are not what you seem. I wonder what you are hiding.”

“I am hiding nothing.” I said as firmly as I could muster. She closed her book, and then connected her eyes to mine. I could feel her searching my eyes, trying to find some kind of weakness there. This game is something I was so very used to, so I let my eyes search hers. In the end, all I found was bitterness.

“So you say now.” She got up and began walking back to her tent. “A word of advice, little bard. Do not look at me like that ever again. You will sorely regret it.” She then slammed her staff into the ground outside her tent and retreated in for the night. My hands were shaking, from anger and anxiety that the witch had given me. I didn’t like her having control over me like that, it was as if she was always three steps ahead of me. I stroked the fire, and then laid back to look at the stars. I’m not sure how long I was sitting like that before my eyes became heavy, but I do remember the yellow tint of the sky as I shut my eyes, willing sleep to overtake me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will be staggering with updating this fic. Somedays I'll post two or three chapters and others I won't post anything. I'm gonna go with the inspiration on this one, so expect a kind of staggering. Thanks for reading!


	3. Revelations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really bad at writing summaries, so I probably won't write one anymore. This is going to be a shorter chapter, but I'm posting two today, I wanted to save the longer one. Hope you enjoy it!

I awoke the following morning with Dog licking my face. The fire that was dying in the center of camp was now burning furiously, while the other three companions sat around it eating some sort of breakfast. I was surprised to see Morrigan amongst Cousland and Alistair chatting pleasantly until I sat up to stretch, in which case the witch’s smile was replaced with a scowl and a glare. I let my eyes linger on hers for a moment, to decide whether or not I should ask her what her problem was with me, but decided against it. It was unfair to Alistair and Cousland for me to start fighting after they so graciously let me follow in their trek. Cousland got up, setting down her and motioned me towards her. I stiffly stood, stretching all my limbs as I made my way over to her.

“You looked too peaceful for us to wake you,” Cousland said softly. The woman had such a soft demeanour around her companions, but I’ve seen the fire that burns behind her eyes, it’s something we have in common. “We are planning to pack up and head towards Denerim this afternoon. Following the path, it will take us a good three to four days.” I shook my head, understanding. “However, before we leave, there is a stream that is southwards from the camp. I’m going to go there now to wash up, if you would like to join me.” I agreed instantly, I didn’t know when I would get another chance to wash until we got to Denerim.

I followed Cousland through the trees until we emerged onto the creek. It was quite small, but it was surrounded by wildflowers, which happened to be in full bloom. I quickly discarded my armour, not one being shy with my own body and jumped into the waiting water. Cousland, however, took her time to make sure that her pristine armour stayed nice and clean. She slightly covered herself as she got in the water, but instantly relaxed as it made contact with her skin.

“Warden?” I asked hesitantly. This was the perfect time to get to know the woman, so I decided to go for it and initiate a subtle form of questioning.

“Leliana, please call me Cousland.”

“Alright, thank you Cousland.” I watched for a moment as she slipped underwater then sprung up, her medium brown hair completely covering her face, causing me to giggle some. “Can I ask you something?” I asked after she finally fixed her hair.

“Of course. I know we have not known each other long, but I consider you to be a friend.” The sentiment surprised me; I knew I wasn’t worthy of her friendship, because of the things I was keeping from her.

“I know it’s not my place, but can I ask what your relationship is with Alistair?” I would have figured that she would have yelled at me, or told me off, but then I remembered that this creature isn’t like that spoiled witch who thought herself better than most.

“Alistair and I are…” she paused for a moment. “Complicated.” She finally said.

“How so?”

“Well, when I first met him, I didn’t really care for him.” Her eyes became lost in the past as she begun her story. “I had just gotten to Ostagar, when I ran into him. He was very arrogant and sarcastic, something that really angered me. But everything changed after the battle. He changed. After realizing that Duncan, his mentor, had died had nearly broke him.” She paused to look at me, her eyes boring into mine. “It’s a wonder what death can do to people. It can bring the two most unlikely characters together to fight the darkness that threatens to take over you. But I’m getting off track of my story. Alistair and I had quite the same upbringing. We both know lost, pain, death and abandonment. For you see, dear bard, Alistair is a bastard, he was orphaned at such a young age then shipped off to the Chantry to become a Templar.”

“And your family?”

“My family was killed right before my eyes. That is why I followed Duncan to become a Grey Warden.” Her eyes became sad and filled with guilt. I looked down at my hands on top of the water, debating whether or not I should open up to her after she so graciously did to me. Taking a deep breath, I decided that maybe I should trust this Warden more.

“My mother died when I was a little girl.” Cousland’s eyes shot up to mine as I began talking. “It’s a shame now, I don’t even remember her face anymore.”

 “I am so very sorry, Leliana. No child should be orphaned.”

“I only remember one thing about my mother. She has this scent that practically clung to her skin. I could always find my mother by following her scent. She absolutely loved this white flower that only bloomed here in Fereldan, Andraste’s Grace is what she would call it. But that smell, that flower is the only thing I remember about her.” We both stayed silent for a while, wading in the water, before I got out and grabbed my clothes. As I was putting my armour back on, I caught a glimpse of someone in the corner of my eye. I had just assumed that it was Cousland but when I turned around to see, I was surprised at her presence. Morrigan’s eyes watched me but for once, they were not filled with hate or malice, but guilt and regret. Her lips where parted a bit as if she were to say something to me but the rustle of twigs from Cousland donning her armour, completely changed the witch’s demeanour. Her eyes lost the emotion that was so very present a moment ago, and she turned on her heels back to camp. Pondering her motives, I shrugged it off as my imagination and went back to pack up my tent.

We set off for Denerim at midday. Alistair and Cousland were fighting over the map and the direction that we were going. Playful shoves and laughs kept filling the air. I smiled at the two, after talking to Cousland earlier, I saw Alistair in a whole new light. However, the person next to me scoffed at the two.

“Such children,” her sultry voice said. I mentally slapped myself for thinking that her voice was sultry, she was a cruel shrew, I shouldn’t be thinking of her as sultry. But of course my mind started straying as I looked over at her. I had this overwhelming urge to touch the porcelain skin of the witch, to feel how soft she was. I gulped at the thought of touching her, keeping my eyes from her face, begging the Maker that she couldn’t see the blush forming on my face. This was the first time in a long time that I felt truly attracted to somebody and of course it had to be the most difficult person here. I wondered if this is the punishment I deserve from the Maker, to be slowly attracted to this bitter woman. She stepped in front of me, snapping me from my thoughts, and making me stop in my tracks. I looked up at her angrily, but her eyes were elsewhere, scanning the trees around us. Both Alistair and Cousland both stopped their playful bickering to examine the trees. Finally I heard the sound that alarmed everybody, the breaking of twigs that was getting louder with every step.

“We are not alone,” Morrigan whispered towards Cousland. She was still standing in front of me, so I could feel her breath on my face, causing goosebumps to form on my arms.


	4. Wicked Witch

“Can you scout ahead?” Alistair asked her. His face was hardened as his hand was on the hilt of his sword. Morrigan nodded and in a quick flash, she disappeared. I nearly missed it for it was so fast, but in her place was a black raven that spread its wings and flew off. I stared at Alistair incredulously, wondering what in the Maker just happened. “Shapeshifter,” he simply replied. In a flash, the raven was back already in transition to turning back to Morrigan.

“Darkspawn approach us, ready yourself.” She said as she blasted a protective spell around us all. Alistair unsheathed his sword and shield, while both Cousland and I readied our bows. After a few quiet moments, a horde of Darkspawn emerged from the trees. Alistair quickly ran towards them, bashing them with his shield to knock them over. Morrigan blasted a shockwave that captured four of the hellish creatures. I shot arrows as fast as I could ready them, always aiming for the head. However, the plan needed to be revised after I loaded a Hurlock with five arrows to the face. Pulling a dagger from my belt, I lunged forward, slicing its throat. Black blood gushed from the wound, covering my armour, as the creature fell over. I looked over at Cousland and Alistair who were completely in sync with one another. Alistair would bash a creature and when it staggered, Cousland loaded it with as many arrows as she could. I realized that the two could handle themselves so I tried to find the witch. She was casting spell after spell, effectively taking down every Darkspawn that came towards her. However, what she failed to see was the rouge Hurlock that was camouflaged moving towards her position. I ran towards her, my daggers ready. She stared at me as if I was going to attack her, and then turned her staff to me. I dodged and ducked under every fireball she sent my way, but when I was close to her, I slid underneath her towards the waiting creature. I stabbed my dagger deep into its skull, watching it as it fell over. Morrigan finally turned to see the Darkspawn that could have killed her sprawled on the floor as blood poured from it.

“What in the gods were you thinking? Attacking me like that?” I asked as she shot glares into me.

“’Twas I supposed to do? You were running at me with a readied blade.” She leaned against her staff, obviously run down from all the magic she had just used for the fight.

“You could have trusted me!” I yelled, getting fed up with this stuck up witch, whose life I just saved.

“Trust you?” She snickered a bit. “I barely know you, bard. How can I trust somebody I do not know?” I turned my back to her and walked off. “Stupid, bard.” Morrigan whispered loud enough for me to hear. I spun around, and pulled my blade to her throat.

“Do not call me that.” I snarled at her.

“The minstrel does have a backbone. And here I thought you’d be useless.” Morrigan smirked up at me while I pushed the knife closer to her throat. I was too lost in her smile that I failed to see her conjure up a shock of lightning that convulsed my whole body causing me to drop the knife and fall to the ground. “Did you really think I would have allowed you to threaten me like that?” I kicked her feet out from under her and she smacked her back as she hit the ground next to me. I rolled over on top of her, straddling her waist and pinning her hands.

“A simple thank you would have been nice. Seeing as though I just saved your selfish life, witch.” I watched as her breathing became rapid as she looked at me. The anger in her eyes was evident, but there was mixture of something else there that I couldn’t distinguish. Realizing how close we really were, I threw myself off her, aware of the heat radiating in between my legs at the close contact. Morrigan stood up and brushed herself off.

“I will not thank you. For I had it under control.” I groaned at her and grabbed my bow.

“Fine I will never do it again. It’s not like any of us would miss you.” I regretted the words as soon as they left my mouth. Tears were threatening to spill over as I walked past Alistair and Cousland, who were both standing there with their mouths agape.

“What a great place to set up camp!” Cousland said loudly to break the tension as Morrigan stalked off and I sat on a log away from everybody. I didn’t mean to hurt her like that, but I was sick of being bullied from her. I don’t like the way she thinks that she could control. Someone tried to control me long ago, and I was such a fool as to let that person ruin me. I will never be that foolish again, and I will not let that witch push me around.

Later that evening, I sat around the campfire for the first watch. I was supposed to be with Morrigan, but after she put up her tent, she retreated in and didn’t come out. I knew deep down that I should apologize to her, but I just couldn’t bring myself to do it, not just yet. Cousland and Alistair fell asleep after cleaning their weapons, promising that everything will work itself out. I watched Morrigan’s tent for sometime, pondering over my thoughts. I obviously felt some attraction to the witch, although I wished I didn’t. She was very beautiful, I would give her that, but she was so cold to everyone. It made me wonder what she was hiding under that tough exterior. Should I even waste my time with her? Or is she as broken as I was?

Broken. That word kept repeating itself in my head. I knew for a while that I was broken, that is one of the reasons I became a cloistered sister. I had hoped that maybe the Maker could fix what was broken so long ago. All the death, the bloodshed and the games I played so long ago seem meaningless now. I could never redeem myself. Pulling my knees up, I curled into myself by the f ire, wishing to disappear when I heard her tent open. I didn’t turn to watch her sit down by me but I felt her presence. She sighed into the fire, almost too quiet for me to hear her.

“I want to apologize for my actions earlier.” My head snapped up to look at her. I didn’t know when I actually started crying, but the tears were flowing freely from my face. Her face was soft, as soft as I ever seen it. The yellow eyes that always show me disdain were filled with sorrow now. “Thank you for saving my life.” I nodded in reply but then went back to watching the fire as she kept speaking. “I am not skilled at this.” I watched her again as her eyebrows were furrowed, causing lines to form in her forehead.

“Not good at what?” I prompted.

“Talking. To people.” She stared into the fire, causing her eyes to glow even more.

“I am sorry, Morrigan,” I said after some silence.

“’Tis alright. I know I deserved it.”

“Nobody deserves to be alone.” We locked eyes for some time, neither of us wanting to look away.

“What do you know about loneliness?” She asked, but not with angry, only pure curiosity.

“You were right about me. When you said I was hiding something.”

“And what are you hiding?”

“Loneliness.” My head fell onto my hands as I watched her. Her features softened even more, while her eyes filled with understanding. I wanted so badly to look away from her, to sink into my loneliness by myself, but her presence ignited something inside of me.

“What happened to you, bard?” She whispered.

“I went through hell,” I replied softly and stood up, deciding to take a walk around the perimeter of the camp. I replayed our conversation over and over in my head but I couldn’t understand why I felt such a connection towards her. Seeing her as this soft creature had changed everything. It showed me that maybe deep down in that black soul of hers, there was a heart and it was broke, just like mine. Maybe I had more in common with the witch than I would have ever guessed. Maybe there was a chance that she could be saved, and maybe there was a chance that I could be saved too. I tried too hard not to dwell on these thoughts and feelings as I headed back to the fire where she was still sitting, now engrossed in a book. We sat silently for the remainder of the night, up until Cousland and Alistair took over for watch. I watched her walk back to her tent but before she retreated in, she deliberately made eye contact with me, smiling a tiny bit before disappearing. I couldn’t help the feeling of my heart soaring at the smile. I realized that I am so screwed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all are enjoying it so far! I know I am! If you have any comments or suggestions please feel free to share it! You can also find me on tumblr: http://lexxxiiwild.tumblr.com


	5. Heartbreak

I was harshly awoken by the screams that could be heard throughout the camp and dog whines. I groaned and rolled out of my tent, leaving my armor put away. In nothing but a lined shirt and underwater, I trudged around trying to find the source of the commotion.

"By the Maker, what is going on?" I said as I yawned and began braiding my short hair. Morrigan and Cousland were stood in the middle of camp both women in a near attack position. Dog was crouched behind Cousland nearly shaking.

"That stupid mongrel left a dead hate in my unmentionables!" Morrigan screamed.

"It was a gift, he likes you." Cousland replied as she stood her ground against the glowering witch.

"He ruined everything! What am I supposed to do now?!"

"Wait until we get to Denerim."

"We won't be there for another two days." Morrigan said through her teeth. I stood there watching the two have a war with their eyes.

"Find a river then."

"You keep that mutt away from my things or so help me, I will kill him." She turned around and stalked without a glance in my direction. Cousland stood by rubbing her temples, obviously exhausted from bickering with Morrigan, yet again.

"Maker, give me strength or she will be the death of me." She whispered.

After the huge blowout argument, everybody silently packed his or her things and we were back on the trail. Once again Alistair and Cousland were at the helm, attempting to direct us. They always had a cheerful conversation; laughs could always be heard from the front of our entourage. I stayed a ways back, towards Morrigan was sulking. I dropped my glance to meet her downcast gaze.

"Are you alright?" I whispered.

"I do not need your pity." She angrily whispered back.

"I'm not giving you any. I'm asking if you are alright." At this point she finally looked at me, and for the second time her eyes did not show hate but something I couldn't decipher.

"Why do you do that?"

"Do what?"

"Look at me like that?" I should have stopped myself, but my curiosity got the better of me. Since I met her, she was nothing but cold to me, but now she is the complete opposite. I have no idea what to think about it.

"How else should I look at you, Leliana?" That was the first time she said my name and I must admit that I love the way my name sounded coming from her mouth. Her voice was like velvet, smooth and sultry, and it made my breath come faster. Her eyes filled with lust as her pupils dilated. I licked my lips and couldn't stop my eyes as they travelled to hers where she gave a smirk that made my knees weak. I was falling apart right then and there. Becoming putty in her hands, I melted for her right at that moment. She chucked sinisterly as she stalked off towards the group.

            I tried for the longest to get her voice out of my head for the rest of the walk, but it was persistently there, tormenting me. I had a throbbing ache for her; I needed to be close to her. Pull yourself together Leliana, I thought to myself.  

            We were about ten miles outside Denerim before the Wardens decided they needed a break. They purposefully set up a camp near a creek where they jumped it together. They were connected to each other's hip. I decided to take a stroll through the woods, making sure not to stray too far from camp. I tried once again to get the witch out of my head but she wouldn't leave. I had so much pent up emotion that I pulled out my bow and loaded a tree trunk full of arrows until I felt better. By the time I was done, the sun was setting and I knew my nighttime shift with Morrigan would be coming soon. My heart raced at the thought of having another private moment with her but it was all shot down when I walked back into camp and she was glaring at me. I couldn't keep up with this woman's emotions. The Wardens were still nowhere in sight, and the witch was pacing around the fire.

"Have you seen them?" She asked me as I sat down on the log by the fire. Her voice rang of anger, all the sultry from earlier was gone.

"No."

"Ugh blasted Wardens!" She slumped down next to me and put her head in her hands.

"Where did they go?"

"As Alistair put it, he wants to catch us dinner."

"Oh, did Cousland join him?"

"What do you think?" She spat at me. "She never leaves his side."

"What is it?"

"Nothing." We sat next together in silence for a short time until her shoulders finally relaxed and she took a deep breath. "She is the only one who can save us. And she's out running around with that fool." Her voice came silently.

"Can you blame her?" Her eyes shot up instantly. "She's trying to balance being a hero for Fereldan but also being a young woman."

"And that should concern me because?"

"Because you are not her keeper. You are not responsible for her." My hand, against my own will, found it’s way to her shoulder where I began to gently rub it. The temperature of her skin surprised me for it was relatively cool even though we were by the fire. My hand continued to travel down her arm, slowly towards her back. My eyes lingered on her face until she started watching me touch her. I rested my hand on the small of her back, waiting for just about anything. But before anything could happen, Alistair ran through the bushes into camp, causing Morrigan to put as much space between her and I as possible.

"Dinner time girls!" He shouted, holding up a deer that had arrows in it. Cousland brought up the rear, muttering about 'what a clod' Alistair was.

When it was time for Morrigan and I’s watch, we made our way back to the fire. She had her book again, while I stroked the fire. I watched her read, mentally debating whether to talk to her or not.

 "You're staring," she said without even lifting her head.

"May I ask you something?" She closed her book softly then turned to give me attention.

"If you must."

"Was it lonely growing up in the Wilds?" The question took her by surprise because her eyebrows were nearly lost in her scalp.

"I-uh," she paused to ponder the question. "''Twas much lonely. However, I had ways to curb the loneliness."

"Like what?"

"My, aren't we curious?" She asked with a smile, but she continued. "I can shapeshift, which you already know. At times when I was lonely, I would shift into an animal and roam the Wilds."

"Did the other animals mind you?"

"No, never. They would always act Tis I was one of their own. It made me feel apart of something." She was starting to open to me; I decided to return the favor.

"I was not born in Fereldan, but in Orlais." I looked at the fire, desperately trying to avoid her eyes. "My mother was Fereldan..."

"How old were you?" She asked suddenly.

"I'm sorry what?"

"When she died?" So she was eavesdropping that day I talked about my mother. I had a feeling that she did but it never really bothered me.

"Quite young."

"What happened to you afterwards?"

"I stayed in Orlais, in the service of a noblewoman. There I learned the trade to becoming a bard."

"A bard or an assassin?" I chuckled at the word, I would always pretend that I was an assassin but I was always a bard first.

"Have you learned my secret, Morrigan?" I was horribly curious to know if she figured out what I really was.

"What secret is that, my dear? That you're a ruthless killer and the innocent Chantry sister we all thought you were?" I laughed out loud now, because to have Morrigan figure this out shocked me.

"It was the Game we all had to play." I said after my laughter died. She continued to watch me closely, not pushing me to talk but to wait until I was comfortable enough. When I didn't, she began to tell a story.

"When I was a child, I never really had any human contact except for my mother. One day, I was curious as to what was beyond the trees so I ventured out and came across a rich woman in a carriage." Her eyes were lost in the past, but I gently laid my hand on top of hers. She didn't pull away, yet welcomed the touch. "I rummaged through her pack and found a beautiful mirror, I wanted to show my mother. She broke the mirror. Her reasoning was that love and beauty would make me weak and I wasn't allowed to be weak." There was a short pause.

"Love doesn't make you weak, it can break you but it'll make you stronger."

"What do you know about love, Leliana?" She finally looked at me with the same ferocity as earlier. My heart was racing as my eyes fought a war whether to look into her eyes or at her lips. She saw the struggle but stared directly at my lips. I shimmed myself closer to her, struggling to close the distance but it wasn’t fast enough. For I was leaning in towards her, finally taking control when Morrigan suddenly pulled away and chuckled. "You are a fool, bard." With that she got up and retreated to her tent. I became angry with her, I didn't know what she wanted from me but I was going to find out. I stomped over to her tent and let myself in.

"What do you want from me, Morrigan? Why are you leading me on like this? Just tell me no and we will leave it at that." She was utterly shocked that I followed her, so much so that she was at a loss of words.

"I don't know what you are talking about, woman!"

"Stop playing games with me then! You hate me one second then the other you want me. I can't keep up with you!" She stood up, getting right in my face, anger flooding her features.

"How dare you walk in here talking to me like that? You look at me like a piece of meat! Is that what you want?!" She screamed at me as she grabbed my face and pulled me into a fast and messy kiss then forcefully pushed me away. "Or would you rather want this?!" She grabbed my hand and planted it firmly on her breast. "Isn't that the only thing you want, Leliana?" Tears filled my eyes as I shoved her away from me.

"I just wanted you to be honest with me." I turned and practically ran from her tent, trying to get to my tent as fast possible where I cried myself to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I went back and made some grammatical corrections to previous chapters.


	6. Denerim

When we finally passed the gates of Denerim, everybody's shoulders visibly relaxed. The last mile of our walk really drained everyone. The excited laughs from Cousland and Alistair had died and even Morrigan walked silently. However when we reached the city, the excitement came back. The city smelt of mud and manure while the cold air that take over us while out in the forest, was replaced by sudden warmth. Villagers were shuffling around the marketplace that was located in the middle of the city. Huge gates closed off the Elven Alienage, for they have been experiencing a horrible plague. Guards stood post at nearly every house we passed, eyeing every person that passed them. The marketplace was crowded as merchants shouted their latest deals.

"Hey, Alistair," Cousland started with a childlike grin on her grin. "Are you up for a bet?"

"I think I could wager against you." He smiled in return.

"Five coins to whoever can find the most outlandish thing." Her eyes gestured to the market.

"Deal!" They both practically ran to the merchants, trying to see their wares and barter with them. As they ran off, I noticed one particular guard eyeing us. We had just walked in with armor and weapons, so we did look suspicious. I walked over to Cousland.

"Guards are watching us," I whispered in her ear. "And I'm pretty sure it's the guard captain. Try to place nice and maybe he can help us." So far, I had no idea what the Wardens were planning on doing to stop the Darkspawn but I was hoping one of them had a plan. After I talked to Cousland, she straightened herself and walked to the guard captain, all playfulness gone from her face.

"Hello, sir," she held out her hand waiting for him to shake it.

"What can I do for you?" He asked as he shook Cousland's hand while eyeing each of us individually.

"I was wondering if you needed any assistance?"

"And why would a Grey Warden want to help a simple guard?" We all looked at each other, waiting for an attack that never came. Cousland straightened herself.

"I have the treaties to summon help for the Blight."

"Redcliffe would be the best place for that, but he Arl has fallen ill."

"Is he alright?" Alistair asked suddenly.

"Apparently his knights are looking for the Urn of Sacred Ashes to help him."

"You know quite a lot for a simple guard," I quipped; suspicious of the man we were talking to.

"Being guard captain I hear a lot of things." His eyes caught mine and I stared hard at him. "Look you guys should go to Brother Genivinti's house across the way. He went off searching for the Urn, so maybe he can be more of assistance." Cousland nodded, but continued looking at guard. "And if you are desperately wanting to aid us so much, we do have a problem at our local pub, the Pearl."

"What kind of problem?" Alistair asked.

"Some thugs thinking they own the place, every time we try and talk to them, they always draw their weapons." The guard captain rubbed his neck from the stress of the job. "Look if you can take care of it, I'll pay you handsomely."

"We will do it for free!" Alistair said at once, causing both Cousland and myself to eye him suspiciously. We turned towards the marketplace while our leader gathered her thoughts.

"Ok, well I think I will check out this Brother Genivinti's house, seeing as it's close by. How about the rest of you go to the Pearl, and take care of the thugs?" Morrigan sighed heavily from behind us, after everything that had transpired the night before, I tried desperately to keep my distance from her. She had really hurt me, but I didn't want her to know that.

"Come on girls," Alistair started while he put his arm around my shoulder. "First round is on me!" He looked back to Morrigan and winked at her, causing the witch to groan. We were about to separate when a man came from the shadows and stood in front of Cousland.

"I recognize you," He said. His bright plate metal armor suggested that he was a knight but for what Keep, none of us knew. "You were at Ostagar, you are a Grey Warden." Everybody's demeanor shifted at that point, Alistair tried to put himself between the man and Cousland while I was ready to draw my bow. "You let the good King Cailan die and Loghain take his place! You must answer for your crimes!"

"Lower your voice, Ser." Cousland hissed at the man. "I am trying to stop Loghain and the Blight itself. So it would be in your best interest to step away from me and forget that you ever saw me."

"Never," the Knight said as he drew his sword and pointed it towards her neck. "You will follow me into the alley where you will fight for your honor."

"She will do no such thing!" Alistair stated firmly.

"Oh she will, or I will cut her down right here."

"His armor is weak in the knees, if you hit him there, you will have the upper hand," I whispered into Coulsand's ear. I could feel Morrigan watch me get close to the Warden, slowly baring her teeth. I turn to glare at her making her back off.

"Fine, ser," Cousland said and followed the Knight into the alley. She readied her bow but he stopped her.

"You will fight with a sword." He said simply. Alistair unsheathed his own sword and handed it to her. She locked eyes with me before the fight and I nodded, hoping she remembered what I told her. The remaining group readied our weapons just in case the Knight tricked our leader and hurt her. But he simply pulled out his long-sword and waited.

The Knight rushed toward Cousland, swinging his sword with great force. She deflected every hit he tried to take. Their swords locked but the Knight forced his heavily armored elbow into Cousland's face, causing a bone-breaking crunch to fill the silent alley. Blood began dripping from her nose as she quickly tried to reset the bone. The Knight rushed her again, but this time Cousland was ready for it and she parried his blow, aiming straight for his knee. When the sword connected to his knee, the Knight lost his balance, falling to one knee. He tried to deflect Cousland's offensive attacks but was struggling at the position he was in. Cousland pulled the sword back and with all her might lunged it forward, causing the Knight's sword to be torn from his grip.

"I yield," he said, putting his hands up defensively. However, Cousland put the sword at his neck.

"You dare question my honor?" She said angrily. Her face was full of hate and malice as she pulled the sword back, about to decapitate the man when Morrigan grabbed her arm.

"No more, Warden." I was shocked that Morrigan was the one to stop the Warden from killing an innocent man. Cousland's eyes locked with Morrigan's, both glaring at one another, when finally Cousland dropped the sword and stood against the alley wall. "Run off, coward," Morrigan said to the Knight, who stood up and ran out of the alley and away from us. Alistair ran over to Cousland and grabbed her face, pulling it up so she would look at him.

"Are you alright?" He asked as he looked at her very broken nose.

"I will live." She said, placing her hand on his shoulder. He leaned in and lightly kissed her cheek, while both Morrigan and I turned to give the two a small sliver of privacy. I looked over at Morrigan, who was staring at me with the soft look she has given to me before; her features were full of guilt and regret. At this point, I didn't care what she had to say about her actions the night before; I just wanted to forget everything.

After some time, Cousland decided that we needed to go to the Pearl, while she went to go find answers about the Urn of Sacred Ashes. Alistair didn't want to leave her, especially in the state that she was in, but he knew that we all had a job to do.


	7. Isabela

When we got to the Pearl, a small at the edge of Denerim. The pub itself was falling apart, but the smell of alcohol and roasted meat filled the air. We found out quickly that the pub was also a brothel for there were many patrons buying services offered to them. The thugs in question were roughing up the innocent bartender. We arrived before any bloodshed happened.

“Would you look at that, boys?” The apparent leader exclaimed, letting go of the poor women that he took in his grasp. “A living Grey Warden. I wonder how much we will get for his head.” Being in no mood after the fight in the alley, Alistair pulled out his sword, pointing it at the leader.

“Get out. Now!” The thugs stared at him for a moment, then looked at the rest of us. I threw him some coins to persuade him even more to leave. He snatched the gold quickly as his men gathered his things. 

“I don’t like taking orders, but this pub is getting crowded,” The leader said as they all left. Alistair started talking to the bartender, pushing her worries away as Morrigan went to the corner of the pub, away from as many people as she could get.

“Leli?” A voice behind me called. I turned around to see Isabela, an old friend that I made in Orlais. Isabela was captain of ship and though she wouldn’t say it, she was the best captain in Thedas. We became friends when her and her crew docked in Orlais at the local pub I visited. When my life was going to ruins, and I was running from the Orlesian guards, she would give me shelter or safe passage to anywhere in Thedas. She had tan skin, from all the sun she got on the water, and black hair that usually fell to her shoulders, but she normally kept it up. She always had a smile on her face and a pint in her hand. Her two swords were strapped firmly behind her back, as she believed herself to be a gifted duelist. 

“Isabela!” I exclaimed as I ran to her and greeted her with a big hug.

“I thought I would never see you again, little bird.” Her arms felt safe for she was my dearest friend. “Sit! We must drink!” I held her hand as I ordered us two of the best ales the Pearl could offer.

“What are you doing here? Where is your ship?” As the bartender placed our drinks on the table, Isabela immediately picked it up and guzzled the contents. She could always drink me under the table, but at the moment I needed a stiff drink. 

“Oh you know, just dropping off a shipment. The boys wanted some time to stretch their land legs, so here we came.” She ordered another round as I tried to keep up with her. “Anyways what are you doing here?” 

“Fighting the Blight,” I said proudly. I continued holding her hand, feeling a glare at my back from the witch in the corner. 

“I can see that you are with the Wardens, why am I not surprised?” Isabela quickly looked at Alistair then looked at the witch who was silently glaring at us. “What’s with the bitch at the back?”

“Complicated.” I simply said as I finished drinking my ale, quickly asking for another. 

“Funny, that because she seems very jealous of me right now.” Isabela laughed as she continued to watch the witch. I shook off Morrigan being jealous of Isabela, it’s not like she cared about me. She made that quite evident the night before.“So have you heard from her?” I hated asking this of Isabela, but she was the only person that has been to Orlais recently.

“Marjolaine?” The name made my heart break and my face fill with anger. “The last time I was in Orlais, she was apparently with some guard. Found them in corner. She would open her legs to just about anybody.” Another round of drinks came, my head started to feel lighter as the world around me began turning a bit. Thinking of my old lover with another made my blood boil, but remembering what she did to me, made me drink more. We must have been sat drinking for hours, because Cousland came in and relayed all the information she had found to everybody but I only remember bits and pieces of it. Apparently we were headed to the Circle of Magi tomorrow to find the brother. I wasn’t quite sure what everyone was doing, but I kept guzzling drinks with Isabela. When I finally couldn’t take anymore and my world was completely spinning, I tried to look for my companions. Alistair and Cousland already left, but Morrigan was still sat in the corner watching me. I continued to stare at her until Isabela finally caught on.

“What is going on between you two?” She asked, obviously feeling the tension between us.

“She hates me,” I answered loud enough for Morrigan to hopefully hear. 

“She doesn’t look your type, little bird.” 

“I don’t have a type anymore.” 

“Well, as your friend I can tell you that bitch isn’t your type.” We both snickered while Morrigan angrily got up and walked over to me.

“That’s enough, Leliana. We should get going.” She put her hand under my arm, trying to usher me from the table.

“You know I think I’m going to stay with Isabela tonight.” I winked at Isabela who chuckled.

“I know how to keep you warm, little bird.” Isabela was opening flirting with me in front of Morrigan, who was growing more impatient. 

“You will do no such thing to her.” She snapped at the pirate. However, her voice softened when she whispered in my ear. “Please, Leliana lets you get to the camp.” I nodded, trying to stand but swaying too much until Morrigan put her arm around my shoulder, allowing me lean my weight against her. 

“Bye Isabela, thanks for the fun.” I winked at her again as Morrigan nearly dragged me from the pub. I struggled walking, swaying after every step and slightly hiccupping. 

“Why did you have to drink so much, bard?” The witch snapped at me. 

“T-to bury my emotions.” I blurted out; I never had a filter when I spoke after I drank. We walked silently the rest of the way back to camp. Well, Morrigan walked, I dragged my feet. The camp was dead quiet, everybody was asleep, and the only sounds were the quiet crunch of the grass under our feet. I tried detaching myself from Morrigan, so I could go to my tent, but she still held onto me firmly. 

“Oh no, bard, you aren’t sleeping by yourself tonight.” She said as she was pulling me towards her tent on the outskirts of camp.

“I am perfectly cap…” I struggled to get my words out.

“No, you’re not. Now, hush.” Her tent smelled like a mixture of the woods and a sweet fruity fragrance, probably coming from the makeshift alchemy station she had set up. I let her lay me down on her bed of soft furs, while she shuffled around the tent. She came back and began to unbuckle my armor, pulling it off of me and setting it next to my already half sleeping self. I turned and opened one eye to see what she was doing, and she was stripping down to just a bra and her underwear. My drunken brain couldn’t keep up what was happening, so my body didn’t react to watching Morrigan strip in front of me.

“Why are you being so nice to me right now?” I slurred out when she had lain down next to me on the bed of furs.

“For one, I am not the heartless shrew you think I am. Plus you will not remember my generosity tomorrow.” 

“Why do you hate me?” I blurted out again, not caring at the moment what was happening.

“I do not hate you, Leliana,” she whispered, trying to keep her eyes away from mine. “I told you that I was not good with this, and I meant it.” My eyes were closing on their own accord; I was on the verge of passing out. “I am sorry I hurt you, Leliana. I will never hurt you again.” She whispered although I was pretty sure I dreamt the words because I blacked out after that.


	8. The Circle Part One

When I rolled over the next morning, my head was horribly throbbing. I groaned bit but then quickly realized that I was sleeping next to somebody. I didn't remember much from the night before, but I had hoped that Isabela would understand that when she awoke next to me. But instead of thinking of the upcoming consequences, I decided to let my hands roam down the woman I probably slept with last night. I laid my head on her shoulder, feeling her strong hands cradle me, keeping me safe. Her skin was soft as I ran my finger along her stomach, feeling the little ripple of abs that was present. The woman stirred in her sleep, almost making a purring sound. I finally decided to open my eyes to get a good look at Isabela but when the pale skin wasn't the tan skin of the pirate, horror struck through me. I followed my eyes up to the woman's face, immediately recognizing it to be Morrigan's. Bits and pieces of last night were swirling around in my head. Morrigan practically carrying me to her tent, her stripping me down and exclaiming that she wouldn't hurt me. Oh the Maker, I slept with Morrigan. No, no, I couldn't have, but I couldn't remember. I shuffled up quickly, stirring the witch from her sleep. I quickly grabbed my armor and turned to check if she was still asleep. She was actually sat up, staring at me in confusion. I was trying to avoid a confrontation that would have arisen so I rushed out of her tent nearly crashing into Alistair. He looked between Morrigan's tent and myself, a smug smile forming on his face.

"Well, well, well, what do we have here?" Morrigan finally walked out of her tent, fully clothed, glaring at the Warden. She was about to say something before I interjected; I didn't need her standing up for me.

"Don't you dare say a word, Alistair," I snapped at him. He put his hands up defensively and let me pass him to my tent. We all quickly packed our stuff and started off for the Circle of Magi. Which according to Alistair, we would be there by nightfall.

"There is not a chance in hell that we will get there before supper," Cousland said to Alistair as the pair took their position at the lead of our group. "It took us three days to go from Lothering to Denerim."

"Blame those two," he said as they both looked back to stare at us. "If we don't have to stop then we can make it" I tried to keep my distance from Morrigan, not wanting to bring up what happened last night. I was still in disbelief that I slept with her. I wanted to sleep with her, but I at least wanted to remember it.

The rest of our walk occurred without an incident, and when we finally passed the hill that signaled us to be at Lake Calenhad docks. Cousland grumbled while pulling out some gold to give to the smug Alistair. The docks were eerily silent as a lone Templar stood guard with a single boat accompanying him. In the distance, or the middle of the lake, stood the Great Circle Tower. The tower reached towards the stars, but everybody held their breath. We all knew what the Circle did with mages, practically keeping them on a leash so they won't turn into an apostate, like Morrigan. The tower was dark with no other entrance except for the guard at the docks. The murky smell of the lake filled my nose as the wind started picking up, chilling me to the bone. We could all feel that something was not right, but we had no choice but to continue.

"A moment, Warden," Morrigan called from behind me, causing Cousland to turn and give her attention to the witch.

"Yes, Morrigan?"

"I know 'tis a bad time to bring this up, but I was wondering if I could ask you for a favor?"

"Oh, this ought to be good," Alistair whispered causing me to roll my eyes at him.

"Of course."

"My mother's grimoire was stolen years ago but a Templar by the name of Greagoir, and took it to the Circle to be analyzed."

"Would you like us to see if we can find it?" Cousland asked, causing Morrigan to release a breath she was holding.

"I would be most gracious if you could."

"Then for you, my friend, of course." Cousland placed her hand on Morrigan's shoulder as a sign of comrade, but the touch caused something inside me to snap. I wanted to march over to Cousland and rip her hand from the witch. I shook my head, attempting to erase the thoughts away. I couldn't be like that for Morrigan wasn't mine. The only thing I had was the Maker, I wasn't worthy to have somebody anymore.

After talking to the rather annoying Templar who guarded the docks, well technically we threatened him; he took us to the tower to talk to the Knight-Commander. As the boat creaked across the lake, the tower came more into view. Big iron doors opened revealing nothing but Templars in the entrance. Some were on the ground groaning, others were bleeding severely. I was worried about Morrigan; I feared that they would take her away and put her in chains, taking her from me. I felt her tense next to me and I placed my hand over hers.

"Don't worry," I whispered for only her to hear. "I won't let them hurt you." Morrigan smiled at my words, visibly relaxing as she held onto her staff. The Knight-Commander greeted us warmly.

"Ah, Wardens, what can I do for you?"

"We're here to see the First Enchanter," Cousland said as her hard eyes watched the room.

"You're here for the treaties aren't you?"

"Yes, we require the mages' help to stop the Blight. However, I need to speak only to the First Enchanter." The Knight-Commander was hiding something, but he didn't crack at Cousland's words.

"I can give you my best Templar men to aid you."

"Where are the mages, Ser?" I asked from the back of our group. The Knight-Commander sighed, realizing that he couldn't fool us.

"The Tower is under lockdown."

"What has happened?" Cousland asked.

"A blood mage has overrun the tower, turning mages into Demons and Abominations."

"Why aren't you stopping them?"

"They killed my men! I sent word to Denerim for reinforcements, I'm enacting the Right of Annulment."

"You're going to kill them all?" I spoke up. "What if there are survivors?"

"It's too late for them." The Knight-Commander said solemnly.

"You cannot give up on them!" I continued.

"There is nothing any of us can do." I grabbed Cousland by the arm and pulled her towards me.

"We have to find survivors, we cannot let them die."

"Open the doors, Ser." Cousland commanded. "We will go look for the survivors and if the Right arrives while we are in there, you will wait till I am back here in front of you before enacting it." Her voice rang throughout the entrance of the tower, demanding every Templar's attention. "You will not kill another mage." We all turned to the main door that lead into the Tower, which was guarded by another two Templars, who didn't hesitate to open the doors for us to pass through. After we emerged into the main hallway of the Tower, bodies littered throughout different chambers for the students. Blood was splattered across the walls as the innards of Templars were scattered throughout the room.

"We need to split up," Cousland suggested. She did have a point, we needed to find survivors and we needed to find them quickly. I automatically shifted my position next to Morrigan as Alistair went to Cousland's side. The two took off down a side corridor that led into a section of chambers while Morrigan and I continued down the hallway. We found a bedchamber so we decided to walk through it, to see if there was anybody still alive.

"Maker preserve us," I whispered as we passed the bodies of children who were sliced open.

"I won't let anything happen to you," Morrigan whispered next to me as we left the room continuing down the hallway. Seeing at though we were alone, I decided that we needed to talk about what happened the night before.

"Morrigan, last night, we didn't, did we?" My face burned from embarrassment.

"No." She said suddenly, officially closing the conversation.

"Thank you, though," I continued. I realized that this wasn't the time or place for this, but it was something we needed. "For taking care of me, I mean."

"Think nothing of it." We continued on in silence, trying to not trip over the dead bodies until we found a small library. The library was empty of bodies, as if nobody dared to come in here to die. Morrigan set off at once, trying to look for her mother's grimoire. She looked for a few minutes before stopping to look at me, a question on her lips. "Who's Marjolaine?" My heart practically stopped when she asked me this, but Morrigan kept hunting for the book.

"Just somebody from my past." I said silently, hoping she didn't push the subject, especially not here. She scoffed, probably because she couldn't find the book but then made her back to me where she stood in front of me, staring. I tried very hard to hide the hurt and pain that was caused when I thought of Marjolaine, and my hand instantly landed on my abdomen. I was riddled with scars because of Marjolaine, a sweet reminder of my previous lover.

"Whatever she did to you," Morrigan spoke up, snapping my thoughts from Marjolaine. "I am sorry." She put her hand on my face and gently stroked it. Leaning into her hand, I gently kissed it, hoping that I didn't overstep any boundaries with the witch.

"Thank you, Morrigan."

"I promised you that I would never hurt you again, Leliana." She whispered. "I do intend to keep that promise." She leaned in and connected her lips to my own. A bolt of electricity flooded my body as I felt her soft lips against my own. The kiss was soft and sweet, sealing the promise that Morrigan gave to me. We became lost in the moment. We forgot about the Blight and all the death around us, and it was just the two of us, lost together. Her yellow eyes were locked onto mine, as a small smile formed on her lips. Seeing her smile always immediately made me smile. Bless the Maker, I thought; maybe I am worthy of something more. Just before my lips connected with hers again, for I was feeling mighty greedy with her, we heard a door open behind us. When we both turned our heads, with her hands still attached to my face, we witnessed two children sprint in, being chased by abominations. The monsters cut down the children with one swipe of their claws, effectively disemboweling the kids in their stride. They then turned their attention to us as they came swiftly towards us.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I might be posting just one chapter today. But thank you for everybody who have read this and are enjoying it! :)


	9. The Circle Part Two

Without thinking twice, I drew an arrow from my quiver while the witch readied her staff. Before I even fired the first shot, a protective spell engulfed us. After releasing arrow after arrow, the monsters seemed relentless in their pursuit. Morrigan stepped in front of me and unleashed a bolt of lightning that erupted from the ground, causing the monsters to start convulsing. I took the opportunity to retrieve my daggers and rush towards the stunned abominations. I sliced them open horizontally, blood spraying all over me as their innards fell around my body. Morrigan grabbed my hand and rushed me out of the room into a large vestibule. We kept running, not caring where we were going or what we were seeing. We knew that we had to meet up with Wardens, before one of us died. Finally we landed in a room that had stairs but was blocked by an iron door, when we heard feet shuffling behind us. I readied an arrow as Morrigan tried to break the door down. When I saw a shadow, I let loose an arrow, when a shield came up to deflect it. 

“It’s Cousland!” I called to Morrigan, who had relaxed but began wiping the blood from her face. She was limping, carrying the body of Alistair over her shoulders.

“Morrigan, I need you,” She croaked out as she sat Alistair on the floor. Morrigan rushed to the Warden and noticed the claw marks that ripped through his plated armor. 

“Tell me exactly what happened,” Morrigan commanded Cousland. 

“We were searching the rooms, he kept running, kept screaming as if to scare me. He did this for some time until his screams became more frantic. When I finally found him, he was fighting off three abominations when one slashed him. His claw cut through his armor, Morrigan. His plated fucking armor was cut like paper. The only thing I could do was stun them and then run off, but I know they were following me. They might be coming this way, you must prepare yourself.” 

“Heal him,” I said to her as I began to backtrack Cousland’s steps, but was grabbed by Morrigan.

“Do not die on me, bard,” She commanded fiercely. I nodded then began my trek. I didn’t have to go far before I found the creatures, coming this way just as Cousland said. I pulled out my bow and whispered a silent prayer to the Maker, hoping that He could help me in this upcoming battle. I pulled out three arrows and lined them perfectly to hit one of the closest abominations. As soon as I released the arrows, I grabbed three more. I shot arrow after arrow, watching the blood of the creature spray across the walls. When I finally ran out, I ran towards them, duel wielding daggers. I sliced an abomination from the top of its ugly head, to as far down as I could, tasting the blood that splattered out it. I watched it fall to the ground then turned my attention to the final creature. This time I aimed one of my daggers for its head and threw, running after it. When the knife connected with the creature’s skull, I slammed myself into it, repeatedly stabbing the creature’s face until there was nothing left. 

I sprinted back to my group; seeing that Alistair was sat up as Morrigan was making him drink all kinds of potions. Cousland looked a bit calmer than when I left her, seeing Alistair alive and well always lifted her spirits. 

“Please tell me you found out what’s going on here,” I surprised them as I came up from behind and started talking. Morrigan kept her eyes from me, still busy working with Alistair, but Cousland was staring at all the blood on my face.

“A blood mage decided to overthrow the Circle,” Cousland began. “There was a meeting with the First Enchanter and this Council the Templars had set up for the mages. Apparently this one blood mage wanted to be free from the Circle and the Chantry. He already had formed support before all this so when all the fighting began, the majority began turning into abominations, killing everything in sight.”

“Do we know where he is?” 

“Top floor.” Cousland’s eyes lingered on the door ahead of us, obviously connecting that the door would take us to the fiend who started all of this. “But we need Alistair to regain his strength.”

“Give me a few more minutes,” Morrigan said as she made another potion for the Warden to drink.

“Morrigan,” Cousland interrupted, reaching into her pack. She pulled out a black leather bound book with a symbol of a tree on the cover. The book looked worn and heavily used, however at the sight of it, Morrigan’s eyes lit up.

“You found my mother’s grimoire?” Cousland nodded at Morrigan’s question. “I-I don’t know what to say. Thank you, dear Warden.” Morrigan’s eyes were full of wonder and happiness and a pang of jealously flooded through me. Kissing her didn’t answer any of the questions about my feelings for her, but gave me more instead. And plus kissing her didn’t mean we were automatically together, so I was pretty unsure of what our next step would be.

“Ugh, witch what did you make me drink?” Alistair finally said as he sat up. His face was full of color again as he stretched his muscles. Morrigan went back to examine him. 

“How do you feel, boy?” 

“Good. No, great actually.” He hopped up, grabbing his sword and began fighting the air. “I don’t think I’ve ever felt this strong.” He went up to the iron door that was locked and kicked it open. He couldn’t stop laughing.

“Be aware, boy, that will wear off very quickly. Don’t try to be a hero.” We all ran up the stairs, unaware of what we would find when we reached the top. At the top of tower there was a circular platform where five different mages were handcuffed to the ground. Three abominations guarded the mages as a man, the Blood Mage in question, was stood with his hands clasped behind his back.

“I have been waiting for you. It seems you have gotten through my only line of defenses, such a shame.” The mage looked quite normal except for his blood red eyes. He barred his teeth at us, trying to intimidate us. 

“Let them go,” Cousland growled, aiming her bow at the mage.

“You think your arrows will stop me? Nothing will stop me now!” The mage reached for a knife and sliced his hand open, causing blood to start pouring out of it. The blood started covering the mage, morphing into something terrible. In the mage’s place stood a towering demon, with two giant horns and a spine that ended in points. He barred his teeth once again to us, slashing his claws, trying to capture Cousland to rip her apart. We all had to separate, to get his attentions from different sides. Morrigan would try to get the demons focus and when she succeeded, when he raced towards her, we would all open fire. This step was repeated by each of us, hoping that we were slowly killing the beast. He would never slow though, no matter how much we attacked him, he kept coming towards us at full force. 

“We must stun him first!” Alistair called, causing Morrigan to blast the beast with an electric bolt, effectively stunning the demon. We all ran toward the beast. Alistair slashed and stabbed, while bashing with his shield. Cousland poisoned her arrows and shot them off, trying to impale the beast. Morrigan stunned the beast over and over again, switching between ice and electricity. I shot off three arrows at once, always aiming for different parts of the body. When the beast finally fell to one knee, Alistair ran up his back and stabbed the beast at the base of the neck, breaking his sword in the process. Blue-black blood began squirting out of the monster as he fell over, twitching in the process. With the leader dead, the other abominations disappeared into the ground, probably going back to the hell from whence they came. The First Enchanters shackles disappeared as well, allowing the man to fully stand and stretch his limbs. Cousland ran over to him to help him up, ushering the old man towards the stairs. 

“Thank you,” he mumbled as we lead him through the corridor back to the Templars. I pounded my fist hard against the door, signaling the men to open up. As soon as the Knight-Commander saw the First Enchanter, he ran over to us.

“Irving,” he called the First Enchanter. “Are you alright?”

“I wouldn’t be if it wasn’t for this Warden and her companions.” 

“Do you need any medical aid?”

“No, just rest.”

“Before you rest, Ser,” Cousland began, probably afraid that the opportunity was about to pass her by. “I am here to summon the mages help against the Blight. Do I have your support?” Her voice was soft yet had the demeanor of a leader. The First Enchanter eyed Cousland before smiling warmly at her.

“You are not a mage, yet you risked your life to save us and this tower. For that, I am forever in your debt. But as you can tell, we do not have many mages left to give…”

“She can have our Templars then,” the Knight-Commander interrupted. “As many as you need, I will give to you. You have done a great service here, and we are forever grateful. My the Maker bless you.” We all repeated the words except for Morrigan who was already too engrossed into her mother’s grimoire to even acknowledge our existence.

“All right, ladies,” Alistair begun, putting his arm around my shoulder. “How about we take that boat back to the docks and go have ourselves a well deserved pint?” 

“That’s fine, but you’re paying,” Cousland replied as she hit him in the arm as we turned to leave the Circle, successfully completing our quest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! if you want find me on tumblr! lexxxiiwild.tumblr.com


	10. The Past

After drinking practically every drop at the pub in Lake Calenhad, we decided to make camp about a mile outside of the docks and the tower itself. As everybody set up their camps as I decided to walk the perimeter. 

“…Believe it, sweetheart, I was covered in mud.” I head Alistair mumble drunkenly while leaning against Cousland. They were both giggling as Alistair continued his story. I had a feeling that they would be passing out soon, but I was hoping that they did it together. They were so cute together, but Alistair was good to Cousland. Cousland was soft and sweet but there is a lot of pain hidden in her eyes. When she’s around Alistair that pain disappears. She deserves to be happy despite everything that has been happening to her. I watched as Alistair put his arm around Cousland’s shoulder and gently kiss her cheek.

“Get a room!” Morrigan yelled from across the camp, causing Cousland to stick her tongue out at the witch. Morrigan scoffed and grabbed her mother’s grimoire then retreated in her tent. I watched her leave as I could hear a faint snoring coming from behind me. Cousland was leaning her head on Alistair’s shoulder, as they were fast asleep. I couldn’t stop thinking about what Morrigan asked earlier while were at the tower, about Marjolaine. For the past couple of years, I never actually spoke about Marjolaine, and I thought maybe it was time to, but I didn’t know if I should talk to Morrigan about it. Without continuing on my train of thought, I walked over to Morrigan’s tent. As I stormed in, Morrigan jumped at my presence, shutting her book.

“You could have knocked.” She snapped at me.

“She was my first love.”

“What?” 

“Marjolaine.”

“I don’t want to hear your sad breakup story, bard. Now, get out.” I didn’t move at the command. Instead, I took off my linen shirt. “Don’t start taking off your clo…” She stopped as her eyes made contact with my skin. “What the hell happened to you?” Her hand reached out as if to touch me, but I took a step back. 

“This is what Marjolaine did to me.” I watched her eyes take in all of the scars that marred my body. I had at least thirty on my abdomen that were strictly from knives. I also ten deep lashes on my back from the whippings. “I have to tell you the whole story for you to understand.” Morrigan grabbed my hand and led me to her bed of furs, lightly running her hand over my scars. “When I was training to become a bard, I fell for my mentor, Marjolaine. She had taught me everything she knew, she was always so proud of her work, so proud of me. I was her greatest accomplishment. Every job that I took; I was rewarded by taking Marjolaine to my bed. I was so young and foolish, thinking that what we had was love. I completely trusted her. We were together for about a year, or I guess you would call it sleeping around. She would tell me all the things I needed to hear, like how much she loved me or that she wanted to run away with me. That all changed in one night. We had a job to steal some documents from some Orlesian nobleman. She distracted the guards, as usual, but something was different. She would usually bat her eyelashes and the guard would let her pass. This time, she was all over the guard, whispering sweet promises in his ear. I should have been jealous but we needed the documents. I finally found them, hidden away, but my curiosity overtook me. I decided to read the documents.” Morrigan sat with her eyebrows scrunched, causing lines to form on her forehead. “The documents had some very interesting details about the civil war that was taking place. They were treason against the Orlesian Empire. I was so terrified that if Marjolaine got caught with them, she would be taken to prison. So I told her that I looked at them. She batted her eyelashes and said ‘don’t worry, little dove, I will take care of everything’. And I trusted her, I believed her. When the guards came and threw the documents in my face, calling me a traitor, grabbing me and taking me away. I remember seeing Marjolaine as they took me away. I called out to her, begging her to help me. But when I saw the devilish smile, that’s when I knew that it was her that betrayed me. That I was nothing to her, but a pawn, I was expendable.” I had to pause for a moment, because I began crying. Thinking of her, of everything that happened, still broke me. But I needed to explain to Morrigan, I needed her to understand why I am like this. “I was taken to the worst Orlesian prison. I was continuously tortured, asked where I had gotten the plans and whom I was working for. The things they did to me will haunt me for the rest of my life.” My mind was taken back to the whippings I received, feeling my skin tear at each strike. “My screams filled my prison cell, but nobody came to my aid. I waited to die for so long; I prayed to the Maker to just end it. But no help ever came. After being dehydrated and bleed out for so long, I finally let go.”

“How did you escape?” Morrigan whispered.

“With the skills that Marjolaine gave me. As soon as I was able to free myself, I snuck out, unable to fight anybody in my weakened state. When I emerged from the prison, I ran off, trying to put as much between Orlais and myself. I didn’t get very far, that’s when Isabela found my body. She put me on her ship, and nursed me back to health. When I was strong enough, I decided to find a small quaint village in Ferelden, hoping that she wouldn’t find me ever again.” We sat in silence for some time.

“Why are you telling me all this?” Morrigan whispered again.

“Whatever this is,” I motioned between the two of us, “is the first thing I’ve had since Marjolaine. I know we only kissed and that doesn’t put us together, but you need to understand my past. I don’t want to keep anything from you anymore. And whether you want this or not, you needed to know this.” Without letting her respond, I pulled back on my shirt while kissing her cheek. I got up and left her tent, feeling a weight leave my shoulders as I walked back to the fire to settle in for the night. 

Alistair woke me up the next morning, a little hung-over.

“Morning, Leli, can I talk to you for a moment?” I sat up and ushered him to sit next me, allowing me to lay my head on his shoulder.

“You have to promise you won’t make this a big deal.”

“Alistair, you can trust me.” 

“I’m sure you know that I’m a bastard, but I may be actually a Royal bastard.” My eyes nearly popped out my skull. 

“You’re making this weird!” I giggled at him, causing him to glare at me. 

“I’m sorry, Ali, but I need an explanation.” I could feel him shutter at the nickname I gave him.

“Please, don’t call me that. Anyways, I didn’t know my father or my mother for that matter, but when the Arl took me in, he told me that my father was King Maric. My mother was also apparently an elven mage, though there is no proof. So that means that King Calian is, was, my half-brother.”

“Oh, my prince!” I made fun of him as he gently pushed me. “But in all seriousness, why have you kept this from everybody, especially Cousland?” 

“You know about me and Cousland?” He asked suddenly. 

“Everybody knows about you and Cousland. Why haven’t you told her?”

“I care about Cousland. Things between us are good; I don’t want things to change. I don’t want the way she looks at me to change.” My eyes soften as he talked about the Warden. “I don’t want to be the bastard Prince, I want to be just Alistair.” I hugged him suddenly. 

“You are just Alistair to us. You are you, and we all love you.” 

“Thank you, Leli. Look I told you all of this because we are going to Redcliffe tomorrow, and I wanted at least somebody to know about me.”

“Tell Cousland. She loves you, she will understand.” He shook his head in approval and left my tent, quickly rushing to help Morrigan pack her things, not even caring that she glared at him.


	11. Redcliffe

We finally had journeyed to the bridge that would lead us into Redcliffe when Alistair grabbed Cousland's arm. "I need to tell you something." Cousland rolled her eyes a bit. 

"Can't it wait?"

"Trust me, this cannot wait." Alistair begged with his eyes. He looked at me, and I gave him a slight nod, to usher him on. "What I told you about my upbringing wasn't the full truth." Cousland raised her eyebrow upon hearing this. "My father wasn't some peasant, he was King Maric." Cousland's eyes nearly popped out of her skull while Morrigan scoffed behind me. 

"Why didn't you tell me this?"

"How can I tell my girlfriend that I'm a royal bastard? That I maybe next up to throne?" 

"Girlfriend?" Morrigan spoke up causing Alistair to glare at him. Cousland grabbed both of Alistair's hands. 

"You know you can tell me anything." He hung his head at her words. 

"I didn't want you to treat me differently. I want to be just Alistair the Warden with you." Cousland leaned in and kissed his cheek. 

"You are just Alistair to me. You're my Warden." Before they locked lips, Morrigan cleared her throat causing the scene to end quickly. I shot a look at her, well it was more of a glare. But she didn't even notice, for she had ignored me the whole trek. As I stared at her I wondered if I made the right choice in telling her about Marjolaine. What if she didn't want me anymore? What would I do then? What if I already lost her?

"Leli." Cousland snapped me from my thoughts. 

"Are you ok?" I continued to stare at Morrigan as I shook my head.

"I will live, dear friend." Morrigan quickly looked over and locked eyes with me. I couldn't tell what she was thinking or feeling. We all decided to cross the bridge into Redcliffe, where the town looked deserted. Buildings were falling apart; windows were bordered up while the grass was dead and crunchy. There was a smell of death in the air, causing me to keep my hand close to my bow. A young man who was very nervous and twitchy led us into the Chantry, where it seemed the whole village was seeking shelter. People were injured, women were crying and weapons were being made.

"What the hell happened here?" Alistair whispered. We had found out that an army of undead have been ransacking the village at night, killing everything in their sights. The townspeople have come together to lead a full assault on the creatures without any help from Arl Eamon, who had fallen ill, closing off Redcliffe Keep to the rest of the world. We had agreed to aid the townspeople, against Morrigan's better judgment causing the witch to stomp out of the Chantry. We all had to split up to gather supplies or help aid the people, and I took the time to sneak out to try and find Morrigan. She wasn't far but she was walking away from the village, mumbling to herself. 

"Morrigan, wait!" I called trying to keep up with her. 

"Leave me be, bard." She replied icily. I finally caught up to her and grabbed her arm, stopping her and pulling her towards me. 

"What is the matter with you?"

"Oh I'm sorry that I didn't want to join you in your conquest for good." 

"We can help these people!"

"And what if we die doing it? We have bigger problems than this."

"So you would let them die? You are so heartless!" 

"If I am so heartless then you shouldn’t come to me like you care, should you?" She shoved my hand off her arm, hurt by the words I had just said. 

"Morrigan, I didn't mean it like that."

"Save it, I do not wish to hear anything more from you." She quickly shifted into a raven and flew off, leaving me. When I finally walked back to the Chantry where Cousland was standing, I was not shocked to see Morrigan there as well. 

"You do not understand, Warden," I heard her whisper softly trying to keep her voice down. 

"I understand that you will let innocent people die."

"To protect you!" She whispered fiercely. 

"To protect me or Leli?"

"She means nothing to me," Morrigan scoffed. My heart broke instantly. I wanted to turn and walk away but I was stuck, I couldn't move. 

"If you hurt her, I will rip you limb from limb," Cousland growled at her while the witch gently nodded. I was just about to turn when an arrow flew past my face and lodged itself into Morrigan's arm. 

"Morrigan!" And then it began. The sky turned black as a hail of arrows was coming towards us. I felt Cousland grab me by my elbow and pull me underneath the Chantry as arrows impaled villagers. I went over to Morrigan as she was trying to the pull the arrow out of her forearm. I slapped her hand away causing her to hiss at me. I broke off the arrow, pulling it of her arm then hastily unsheathing my bow, I ran out from under the Chantry. There was a massive horde of undead fighting their way towards us. I shot arrow after arrow, making sure I never missed. I tried my best to use my body as a shield, as people desperately dragged themselves towards the only safe haven in the area. Alistair and Cousland were fighting together once again, both in tune with each other. This time she stunned with her arrows as he went in for the kill. An undead creature was making his way towards me, as I unleashed a massive amount of arrows. The creature didn't stop, but I ran out of arrows. It lifted up its two handed sword and brought it down upon me. I hastily shielded myself with bow, causing the wood shaft to snap, but this monster cornered me. It went for another slash, I didn't have any defense, and I was probably going to die. I whispered a prayer to the Maker but the creature was suddenly set aflame above me, and Morrigan came over and pulled me up. 

"Dammit, bard, I told you not to die on me." She was casting spell after spell as I ran back towards the chantry to grab another bow and a quiver. Redcliffe village ran red with blood.  
After the fighting was over, I let Cousland drag me to the tavern up the hill from the chantry. People began celebrating and thanking us for our assistance. I watched as Cousland went from person to person, giving them her gratitude. The townspeople adored her; they adored her humility. I sighed silently and went up to the innkeeper. 

"Excuse me, miss but do you have any rooms available?" She nodded then proceeded to walk me upstairs, leading me to any empty room. After I was alone, I decided to unbuckle my bloodied armor and let it fall to the floor. The room was small with one bed in corner, a cracked mirror and a small tub. I went over to the mirror and was shocked by the amount of blood on my face. There was a jug of water next to the tub, so I filled it up then stripped down. As I got in the water I let my eyes linger on all of my scars, silently chastising myself for opening up to Morrigan. There was a knock at the door but I closed my eyes trying to ignore it. The knocking was persistent and became louder, so I wrapped myself in what I think was a towel and opened the door. Morrigan was stood on the other side, and as soon as I opened the door, she pushed her way in and grabbed my face. Her lips met mine in a fierce and lustful way. She gently bit down on my lip, causing me to moan softly, allowing her tongue to gain entrance in my mouth. Our tongues fought for dominance but she won in the end. We finally broke the kiss placing our foreheads together, breathing fast. 

"I want this," she whispered. "I want you." 

"Why?" I looked down, keeping my eyes from her, causing Morrigan to sigh. 

"You think you're broken, that nobody could ever want you. That you don't deserve this." I shook my head. "My mother said that love was a weakness, that only power was the only thing I needed. She was wrong. What I feel for you 'Tis indescribable but I refuse to watch you die. I refuse to be without you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long update, I had some trouble writing this chapter. I was having major writers block. But to make up, I have written another chapter that I will hopefully post tonight and it's smut :)   
> thanks to everybody has been reading this so far!


	12. Together

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter, but its a smutty one.

I was at a loss for words, but without thinking, I grabbed Morrigan and deftly put my lips on hers. I needed her right now, I needed to be close to this witch who was such a cold bitch, but who was the softest person I knew. She deepened our kiss, letting our tongues dance together once again. She tasted sweet like a mixture of wine and flowers. She bit my bottom lip causing a massive throbbing between my legs, a craving that only she could satisfy. Her lips moved to my neck when I decided to try and take off her red-shawl like fabric, throwing it to the floor. She kept nibbling at my neck as I stripped the pauldron and gloves off, revealing even more smooth skin. Her hands were at the seam of my linen shirt, slowly moving underneath it while dragging her nails along my stomach. I let my hands move down her body, feeling the soft skin and small ripple of muscles that wrapped around her torso. She groaned a bit at how slow everything was going so she pushed me back towards the small bed and completely ripped my shirt open. I felt my hands fly up to cover my scars but she gripped my wrists and pinned me to the bed. Her lips connected to my neck once again, as she began to move down a bit, leaving harsh bite marks along my skin. I dragged my nails down her back, causing the witch to arch her back as her hands found my breast, causing the fire deep inside me grow hungrier. My back arched into her as her lips found their way to my nipple. I shoved her hand between my legs, causing her to pull away and laugh a bit.

"Somebody is eager aren't they?" I bit my lip and reached up and untied her black bra letting it fall to the floor. She ran her finger up and down the inside of my thigh, teasing me harshly. I dug my nails into her back, pulling her face down to me so our lips could meet. She pulled my underwear to the side and finally found the spot I desperately needed her to find. Her fingers ran up and down me before settling on the bundle of nerves that caused my back to arch and my moaning to begin. She was obviously pleased with what she was doing to me because she had the smuggest smile. Her fingers circled around me causing my hips to roll into hers, making a moan escape from her lips. She decided to use her fingers and push two inside me, causing my eyes to roll back into my head as she circled around me while moving in and out. I was losing myself; I was coming undone, unraveling at the seams for her. I felt a white hot heat that started in the pits of my stomach until it was finally released, causing my vision go white as I shut my eyes. I could faintly hearing Morrigan snicker as she pulled herself out of me. I regained myself and flipped us over, causing me to straddle her hips.

"Your turn," I whispered into her ear as I saw her pupil dilate to a near black from desire. I let my tongue travel down to her chest where I let the circle around her nipples, feeling her shiver underneath me. I trailed my tongue down to her hips, where her blasted leather skirt was in the way. "Can I…?"

"Rip them off, I don't care right now." She struggled to get out. Her breathing was becoming faster as I pulled a knife from the bedside table and ripped pretty much everything from the waist down off. I let my tongue continue south until I was met with her folds. "What are you do…Oh the Maker," she managed to squeak out before my tongue was already on her. I let my tongue travel up to her bud, while I pushed my fingers inside her. I continued this ministration while her nails dug into back so hard that she broke the skin. I wasted no time as I moved in and out of her with my fingers and let my tongue continuously circle around her. She gripped onto my hair while she arched her back, her moans filling the room. I moved faster with my ministrations until I could feel her clench around my fingers as she finally hit the peak and fell off the cliff. She watched as I pulled my fingers out of her while I smirked at her as I put them in my mouth and licked them clean. I laid down next to her and we sat there in silence, too worn out to speak. She finally rolled over on her side and traced her finger around my body.

"Can I ask you something?" I said finally breaking the silence, letting her nod in approval. "Why do you appear cold to everybody?" She sat for a moment to ponder over her answer.

"If people fear me or are intimidated by me, then it's easier for me to feel power over them. Power is everything."

"That's your mother talking. What do you think about love and power?"

"That is something I'm not quite sure about actually. On the one hand, love can be exploited and used as a tool whereas if you have power, you rule. But," I was about to interrupt her but she put her finger up to stop me. "Love can one power, so maybe they go hand in hand."

"Do you believe your mother's teachings or would you have wanted something better?"

"Without my mother, I wouldn't be me. I know I'm rough around the edges, but this version of me is one I quite like. And apparently you do too." She smiled for a bit but then it fell fast. "Leliana, about Marjolaine, and why I didn't talk to you about it…"

"You don't need to explain yourself."

"I do. I didn't know how to process what you told me. I felt angry, I still do. I want to rip her apart. That's too polite, I want her to suffer for what she did to you. That scared me. I wanted to protect you and shield you from harm. 'Tis something I've never felt before. I didn't like you when I first met you," I frowned but her eyes locked with mine. "But something changed, and I don't know when or how. You still annoy me," she chuckled, "but you mean quite a bit to me." She looked down and I leaned in to kiss her cheek.


	13. Next Step

We continued through the night, taking turns pleasuring one another until we fell into each other’s arms thoroughly exhausted. I could hear her soft breathing next to me as I inched myself closer to her. This side of the witch could always take my breath away, for she was the softest and kindest person I’ve ever known. Loud knocking the next morning awaked us. I quickly got dressed then answered the door to see Alistair standing in the doorway with a goofy smile.

“Good morn…” His eyes nearly bulged out of his head as I turned to follow them. They locked onto Morrigan’s bare back; love bites marked the alabaster skin, as she pulled her clothes on. He looked back at me then at her; I could hear the little clogs in his brain move until they finally clicked into place. “I think I’m going to be sick.” I could feel my face heat up, as I’m sure I was a bright red color. Morrigan finally came towards us, taking her place next to me, all the playfulness gone from her face. 

“If you don’t like what you see, go somewhere else, boy.” Morrigan snapped at him icily.

“Why her, Leli?” He groaned as I casted my eyes to the floor.

“Do not be rude. She can make her own choices, which she obviously did. Now run off.” Alistair turned to face her, anger seeping into his face.

“Cousland wants a meeting. Now.” He deadpanned as he turned to leave us. I put my face in my hands as Morrigan pulled me closer to her.

“Don’t let that boy get to you. I had fun,” she smirked wickedly before going to the first floor of the tavern. I waited a few minutes then swiftly followed her. I caught eyes with Cousland who had the biggest smile on her face. Oh the Maker could this get any worse? 

“Well, well, well.” She started smugly as I decided to sit as far from Morrigan as possible. “You two were up late last night.” 

“Watch your tongue,” Morrigan snapped at her. Cousland continued to smirk at the two of us while I wished that the floor would open up to let me fall in it to avoid this awkwardness. 

“I’m not the only one who needs to watch my tongue, eh, Leli?” She started snickering until Morrigan slammed her hands on the table, causing everybody to jump a bit, while her hands started glowing.

“I told you to watch your tongue and I will not ask you again.” She said angrily. 

“Relax, it was just a joke,” Cousland said as she raised her hands in defense.

“What we do behind closed doors is none of your business and you will not speak of it. Am I being perfectly clear?”

“Crystal.” Cousland looked at Alistair who was brooding behind us. 

“Let us move onto this so called meeting you planned.”

“Right…” Cousland started hesitantly. “We can’t get into Redcliffe Keep.”

“And why not?” I finally spoke up.

“We need the Urn. That’s the only way they will let us in.”

“Have we located it?” Morrigan quipped in.

“Apparently it’s located in a village called Haven.” Alistair stated.

“Haven? That does not sound familiar.” I said, trying to remember the map of Ferelden. 

“This village isn’t located on a map, I’ve already checked.” Cousland said. 

“Do we have a rough idea of where we are going?” I asked.

“Yes, well at least I think so.” Cousland said.

“Let’s get going then.” Morrigan stated as she got up from the table. 

The trek took us about three days, when finally needed a break. I was walking next to Cousland, feeling Morrigan’s eyes on me. The sun was starting to go down, casting shadows on the trees, making them seem more menacing. We were all on our guard especially when we started hearing twigs snap in the distance. Cousland ordered us to stay low to the ground, to try and hide our presence to whatever was out there. Morrigan decided to scout ahead in her raven form, while we waited with bated breath. I heard a branch snap behind me, so I readied an arrow and targeted it on the forest. After a few minutes, Morrigan walked out as I finally lowered my bow.

“’Tis nothing out there.” 

“Are you sure?” Cousland asked, still in battle mode.

“I circled around three times and didn’t see anything or anybody.”

“Right,” she breathed. “Let’s stop here then.” She had us split up to find a suitable camp but came up empty. We decided to set up camp on the road that we’ve been travelling on. I watched as Cousland’s hands shook as she tried to set up her tent but in the end asked for my help. I felt Morrigan walk behind me, as she let her hand travel across my shoulders, causing goosebumps to form. I had acquired such a craving for her that I was thankful for the break. I needed her to satisfy this craving that I had. Cousland and Alistair agreed to take first watch, while I silently thanked the Maker. I watched Morrigan retreat into her tent, winking at me. Sneaking around the watchful Wardens, I made my way to her tent; I made my way to my Morrigan. 

“Oh gods not again!” Alistair screamed. He was trying to wake us for the next watch but what he found was both of us, nude, entangled together. We quickly dressed and rushed out of the tent to find Cousland rolling her eyes at us.

“You are going to scar Alistair.” She chastised. 

“Where is the boy?” Morrigan asked as I went to sit by the fire.

“He had to go wash his eyes out then do some kind of prayer.” 

“Maybe he shouldn’t continue to walk in on us then.” 

“Look, I’ll go find him and drag him back here but calm it down, you guys are going at it like bunnies.” I nearly choked on the water I was drinking while Morrigan rolled her eyes but sat next to me. A little while later, Cousland was dragging Alistair back who was complaining that he had seen hell. Morrigan and I sat in silence for a bit until she broke it.

“After this whole business with the Arl, I’m going to ask Cousland to kill Flemeth.” 

“What, why?” I asked as Morrigan decided to confide in me what she had discovered when reading her mother’s grimoire. Apparently her mother had a lot of daughters, all that Morrigan didn’t know about. When the girls came to a certain age, Flemeth would do a special ritual where she would suck the soul of them, causing Flemeth to never age. “Was she going to do that to you?”

“Probably.”

“I’m sorry, Morrigan.”

“’Tis something that needs to happen. She was going to kill me, so it’s only fair that I kill her first.” Morrigan shrugged, acting nonchalant about the whole situation. 

“Why are you telling me all this?” I asked suddenly.

“I’m not quite sure.” She answered honestly. “I trust you, Leliana.” My heart swelled when she said that but she kept her eyes from mine, keeping secrets from me. I decided not to push it, as it wasn’t my place. I wasn’t quite sure what we were doing, if everything was just physical or if there was something more there. 

The next morning we had reached the village Haven. The village was small and quiet. It was as if nobody had lived there, the little cottages were eerily silent. There was a sort of rotten smell that filled the air, as the temperature dropped consistently. There was only a lone guard who stopped us as we tried to enter.

“Turn around, there ain’t anything here for you.” Cousland raised her eyebrows at the guard.

“We’re here to find the Urn of Sacred Ashes.”

“That ain’t here.” The guard answered quickly. 

“Can we have a look around your village?”

“We don’t like people snooping around.” 

“Oh, enough of this,” Morrigan said suddenly as she put the guard to sleep. We decided to split up and have a look around. I went into a little armor shop where there was a man working who didn’t even acknowledge my existence. I asked him about the Urn, but he continued to ignore me until I tried to go into the back of the shop. He tried stopping me, but I knew he was hiding something from me. I grabbed my knife and put it at his throat, threatening him. When he denied me over and over, I slit his throat, watching the blood drain from him. I didn’t have time to play games with the worker. When I looked around the back of the store, I found a dead body with a very familiar crest on his armor. I found Cousland and dragged her to the shop I was in to show her the body.

“That’s a Redcliffe crest,” she whispered. We finally knew that we were in the right place and that we were going to find t

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you're enjoying the story so far! If you have any comments or reviews, don't hesitate to come talk to me! :D

**Author's Note:**

> If I get a lot of positive feedback from this, then I will most definitely continue with it.  
> I will get around to finishing my Inquisition fic, but since I have a lot of drive for this to happen, this one will come first. So if you could please any type of feedback, that would be so greatly appreciated!


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